Ty Boyd, Inc.

TED Ideas Worth Spreading

2012-02-22T08:31:00.000-08:00

TED.com is a critically acclaimed, award-winning website featuring inspired talks from the world's leading thinkers and doers. Over the last four years, TEDTalks have been watched more than 300 million times worldwide. As well as being an excellent source for public speaking inspiration, the site is unbelievably entertaining and addicting.

In her TEDTalk on creativity, best-selling author Amy Tan, referenced the speaking guidelines that are given to each presenter from the TED organizers. The guidelines are referred to as The TED Commandments and are apparently chiseled in stone. The speakers literally receive a slab of rock.

Now keep in mind, most TED presenters are famous, polished speakers and performers. So the commandments aren't exactly new advice, but they serve as a reminder that the presenter is expected to communicate with enthusiasm on a subject that they feel passionate about in order to engage the audience. That's good advice for any speaker.

Without further ado, here are the TED Commandments in bold and our interpretation below:

I. Thou Shall Not Simply Trot Out Thy Usual Schtick

Be current, be fresh.

II. Thou Shalt Dream a Great Dream, or Show Forth a Wondrous New Thing, Or Share Something Thou Halst Never Shared Before

Talk about what you know, but also about what you'd like it to become. Share your vision.

III. Thou Shalt Reveal Thy Curiosity and Thy Passion

Never speak about anything of which you have no passion.

IV. Thou Shalt Tell a Story

Involve your audience by giving them something they can care about.

V. Thou Shalt Freely Comment on the Utterances of Other Speakers for the Sale of Blessed Connection and Exquisite Controversy

Comment on blogs, read and get involved, share your opinion as well as dissenting views.

VI. Thou Shalt Not Flaunt Thine Ego. Be Thou Vulnerable. Speak of Thy Failure as Well as Thy Success

It's not about you - it's about the audience. Be genuine and real. Be human.

VII. Thou Shalt Not Sell From the Stage: Neither Thy Company, Thy Goods, Thy Writings, Nor Thy Desperate Need for Funding; Lest Thou Be Cast Aside into Outer Darkness

A TEDTalk is not a sales pitch - it's a talk.

VIII. Thou Shalt Remember All the While: Laughter is Good

As long as the humor is not off color or offensive.

IX. Thou Shalt Not Read Thy Speech

Prepare and practice, practice, practice.

X. Thou Shalt Not Steal the Time of Them That Follow Thee

Never speak over the allotted time. Know when to wrap it up. And when doing so, leave the audience with something that they'll be able to remember.

Here's your public speaking homework for tonight: go to TEDTalks and watch a few talks online. I promise, you will be glad you did.

Choosing a Dream Team

2012-02-22T08:30:00.000-08:00

Teams are the source of a great deal of the productivity and creativity within an organization. Because they are made up of individuals, teams achieve the best results when comprised of members who exhibit a certain skill set. Let's assume that you have been asked by your manager to assemble the perfect team. The pool of candidates from which you can choose all have the same level of exceptional technical expertise, as well as fabulous resumes.

So, what are the other skills and abilities you would look for in a candidate when putting together your dream team?

I. The Ability to Listen:
And by listening, we do not mean the words alone. Colleagues give off subtle signs all the time; if you are only listening to what is being said, you are missing at least half of the message. The teammate who listens to what colleagues are saying, but also pays attention to facial expressions, voice control, and body language...in other words...the things that are not being said, is the person you want on your team. By the same token, a valued team member is aware of his/her own actions and how they are perceived by others.

II. The Ability to Coach:
One of the key characteristics of any good team player is the ability to keep feedback positive. An idea might be flawed, but the person sharing the idea is not. The best teammates know that constructive feedback, if handled well, is a good tool for identifying and resolving issues.

II. The Ability to Become an Effective Communicator:
How a person shares information, discusses important matters and encourages participation from others will determine his/her effectiveness on a team. You can drastically improve the quality and functionality of any team by padding it with as many effective communicators as you can get your hands on.

The faculty at Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching is comprised of experts in the fields of public speaking, business communications and individual coaching. The feedback and direction that our faculty provides empowers team members to make a dramatic difference. You can expect immediate returns when your team invests in a Ty Boyd course or coaching session. Take the lead with Ty Boy.

Team Building Without Competition

2012-02-22T08:29:00.001-08:00

When you want your employees to work together as a group, perhaps breaking them into small teams to compete against each other isn't the best plan. After all, isn't the goal to focus on cooperating and not competing? Team building events should be less about rewarding winners, and more about ensuring that employees learn something that they can use in the workplace.

Team building is about appreciating individual strengths and differences, while building rapport and trust and creating a climate of communication. In a positive environment, employees interact confidently and courteously and relationships are built on goodwill. Colleagues are more willing to speak to one another, to listen more attentively, to ask questions and to offer valuable feedback. So what is the best way to create this type of climate? How about teaching employees to communicate effectively.

Excellence in Speaking is an entertaining, interactive course where participants prepare short talks on simple topics. Our approach to public speaking combines professional coaching with peer review - and that's where the team building comes into play. Each participant functions in several roles: introducer, speaker, and coach. They not only learn how to deliver a presentation, they learn how to give and receive feedback to support their fellow classmates.

"Team building was not the primary goal of our course, " says Anne-Boyd Moore, CEO of Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching, "it's just a wonderful outcome of the experience. Everybody in the room is experiencing the same thing...rolling up their sleeves...becoming more vulnerable with each other...and when you begin to do that, when you share vulnerabilities with each other, you can't help but form a strong bond. And that's how a team is born."

The faculty at Ty Boyd will work directly with your organization to implement this course so that it aligns with your organization's cultural directives. When a group experiences this course in a team setting and collectively challenges the fear of presenting, bonds are created that can last forever...and nobody has to compete or suffer through the indignities of team building exercises. It's a win-win.

A Passionate Presentation

2012-02-01T08:06:00.002-08:00

To be an effective communicator, you need good, solid tools - the basics - a voice, eye contact, gestures, and body language. Of course, it helps to be a good listener and to be organized, as well. And the very best communicators know how to embrace their personal style and deliver a clear, concise message. But make no doubt about it, these skills are cosmetic.

That's not to say that they aren't meaningful; these skills are of the utmost importance. Using effective eye contact, presenting with poise, being aware of gestures and body language, controlling your voice - all of this helps to create an intimate relationship with an audience. It doesn't matter if you are talking to two people or two thousand people, the audience will view you as a trusted advisor if you have honed these speaking skills. But be careful; you don't want to look like someone who is putting on an act, someone who isn't genuine, because phoniness is a huge turn off to an audience.

And after all, that's what it's all about....the audience.

It's not about impressing people with your communication skills, it's about providing a meaningful message that benefits the audience and inspires them to act. It's about creating an experience and it's about connecting with people. Instead of focusing on you, focus on the individuals who showed up to listen to you. Sure, effective communication skills benefit every speaker, but they should ultimately serve the audience.

So, how can you best serve an audience? Inspire them with passion. Unlike the other speaker tools, this one is not a cosmetic skill that can be polished, this one needs to come from within you. Passion is the unleashing of your genuine excitement for the message and for the audience.You will need to either find your passion or feed your passion. Discover what makes you happy and do it, because when you do, you will be infused with enthusiasm and energy.

Understand that your passion might not be career related. Just because you are not passionate about accounts payable doesn't mean you can't enjoy your job. You may find your passion in something else like coaching soccer after work. It's ok to feed your passion in the evenings and on weekends rather than during the work day. Just find it. Because once you do, you will see that passion spills over into all areas of your life.

Find it or feed it, but bring that passion to your presentations. A message delivered with passion becomes enormously powerful.

Ben Does Life. Passionately.

2012-02-01T08:06:00.001-08:00

I first learned about Ben Davis in the December issue of Runner's World magazine.

But long before I tuned in, Davis' YouTube video "My 120 Pound Journey" received more than 1.5 million views, his blog, "Ben Does Life" went viral, he was a guest on NBC's Today Show, and he signed a book deal to write about his incredible journey. In January 2009 Ben Davis made the decision to get a grip, get himself out of his depression and do life. Ever since I found him, I cannot get enough of him.

His is an inspirational journey, for sure. Ben Davis started running, started a blog to document his success and as a result he started living. To date he has lost 120 pounds and while I have no intention of becoming a runner, I am still motivated by Ben's story. Even if you are at your goal weight, fit as a fiddle, and healthy to boot, Ben Davis' advice that "the journey's not going to be easy, but the end results are worth it" can be applied to any struggle in life. His blog is entertaining and well-written. He is honest, vulnerable and real. His message is simple and powerful and his passion is palpable: "If you want to do something with your life, if you really want to do it, just do it. I promise that you can. You just have to do it. And when you do, you'll be happier for it."

Davis is an average, everyday hero whose passion inspires people of all walks of life...all over the world. His initial quest for happiness lead him on a journey that constantly presents new and exciting opportunities. Along with is brother and father, Ben Davis started a grassroots movement called "Do Life" - essentially taking the idea behind "Ben Does Life" and applying it to any body's life. This past summer, the three Davis runners set out across America and Canada to host their first annual Do Life Tour. Not all of the participants in the 5K events had lost weight; some had quit smoking, some had changed careers, some had removed themselves from debt or ended drug and alcohol addictions, and some were taking their very first steps on their journey to happiness. Doing life is really about taking responsibility for decisions and making the necessary changes - it can be applied to any aspect of your life.

Ben Davis embodies passion. He discovered what he loves, what makes him happy and his joy has spilled over into all areas of his life - as is evident when you read his blog. I have not had the pleasure of hearing him speak in public, but something tells me I would enjoy it immensely. He has the power to harness his passion into his written words, so I assume he can do it with the spoken word, as well. Having that skill in his back pocket puts him on the road to becoming a master communicator. All of the other tools that every speaker needs like a voice, a smile, eye contact, gestures, body language, organization, etc., can be learned and polished. But, Ben's passion is not something he learned, it's something he ignited and wanted to share. That's why we at Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching get so emotional about learning presentation skills; it's not about packing your speaking toolbox with a bunch of practical skills, it's about self-empowerment. Once you have that passion and the tools you need to share it, you are able to communicate with an audience at a whole new level.

Ben did not embark on his journey alone. He often uses the words "we" or "us" when he writes about his training - referring to his brother and father who have been at his side every step of the way. A journey is always more fun when you can share it with others.

We hope you'll let Ty Boyd, Inc. join you on your journey to becoming a better communicator.

Laurie Reid manages the written word at Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching producing Words Well Spoken, Ty Boyd's newsletter as well as electronic communications to our clients. Since graduating from the Excellence in Speaking class in April of 2011, Laurie has not stopped speaking. Her colleagues are hoping that she takes up running....

Invest in Your Employees

2012-02-01T08:06:00.000-08:00

Ever since the economy took a nose dive resulting in massive layoffs - some 14 million Americans out of work - employees have considered themselves lucky to have a job. But being a layoff survivor can come with a lot of stress and anxiety brought on by the increased workload and uncertainty of the future. Typically, raises and bonuses reflect an employee's value and worth, but they are usually the first to disappear in troubled times. Perhaps those who are gainfully employed should thank their lucky stars, but a smart manager understands that good employees still need to be acknowledged.

A recent Accountemps poll of over 1,400 companies revealed that one in four businesses plan to add subsidized training and education to retain or attract top talent. "Offering training and mentoring opportunities also helps businesses develop a more skilled workforce," says Max Maessmer, Chairman of Accountemps. This type of perk is a cost effective way for companies to say thank you to valued employees. Perks improve morale and productivity, ultimately benefiting the individual and the company. In addition to perks like career development and training seminars, little things like premium parking and gym memberships go a long way in showing the staff that a manager is grateful for their efforts.

In good times and in bad, companies keep close tabs on the cost associated with training and developing staff. But the flip side of that is the cost associated with not building employees' capabilities; the cost of lost business that results from not having the skills to grow a company. Leadership, communication, innovation, and interpersonal skills are fundamental requirements in today's workplace. The best employees, those employees a company wants to retain, seek opportunities to learn and grow in their careers. Companies who view workshops and seminars as a luxury and not as a competitive and strategic necessity are missing the boat. The question is not "what if we train our employees and they leave the company?" the question is, "what if we don't develop our employees and they stay?"

Career development has always been important, but in today's business climate where salaries are frozen and bonuses slashed, employees are looking for a place to work that fosters personal growth. Career development and training has become as important as the compensation package. When employees know that a company believes in their personal growth, they are more likely to stay with that company for a longer period of time. A lower turnover rate translates into a productive, motivated, enthusiastic workforce and that's just as important as investing in equipment and paying the rent.

Presentation skills. Leadership. Public speaking. Sales communications. Develop these crucial talents with Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching. We serve corporations who want to maximize their people - and people who want their careers to soar.

I am Fluent in the Language of Dog

2011-12-08T11:22:00.000-08:00

Every communication is actually two simultaneous conversations: the verbal and the nonverbal. In terms of emotional impact and believability, the nonverbal conversation is far more important to us then the verbal one. Which is good news for my dog. She whines when she wants to go out, barks when the doorbell rings, and growls when she plays tug of war, but she doesn't have the gift of gab like her owner. But what she lacks in the verbal department, she more than makes up for with her nonverbal capabilities. I dabble in French, I can read a few words of Spanish, but thanks to my Lab, Georgia, I am fluent in the language of dog.

Georgia and I share conversation - me in English, her in Dog - and never have a problem understanding one another. In fact, I am able to translate what Georgia says to my monolingual family and friends. We don't always agree on the subject matter - Georgia likes to wax poetic about squirrels, sticks and tennis balls, while I prefer discussing books, recipes and my plans for the day - but we are never at a loss for words.

The other day, Georgia was banished from the backyard because she caught a chipmunk and was using it as her plaything. Much to her dismay, she was relegated to the screened porch so she could be one with nature without causing bodily harm to innocent creatures. After about an hour, I glanced outside and she "told" me that she was having a blast. How did she tell me? She was doing her happy dance, her ears were sticking up, her tail was wagging and her eyes were fixated on a squirrel. But as soon as I opened the door, she was telling a different story.

She immediately crouched down, her belly about an inch off of the ground. Her ears were pulled back and her eyes darted back and forth completely and purposefully avoiding me. Which, translated into English sounds like this, "Holy mother of pearl, what are you doing here? Please, go back inside. Please. I beg of you...you do not want to see what I have done."

I replied to Georgia, in English, in my angry voice, "Georgia, what did you do?"

She was terrified. She began to swallow hard while backing up, trying to wedge herself under a table. Translation: "I don't know what came over me. What in the Sam Hill was I thinking? I feel awful. You are going to be so disappointed - which kills me - you know how I hate to disappoint you! But you've got to believe me, it wasn't all my fault, that dang squirrel was egging me on."

At this point in our conversation, she was completely turned away from me, but she heard and understood every word that I said, "Georgia...what...did...you...do?" As I asked the question I was frantically looking around the porch for the scene of the crime. And then, I spotted it. "Oh, for the love of Pete, Georgia, you ate an entire basket!"

The gig was up and so she slowly, but surely began easing her way out of the hiding spot, crawling towards me. When she got close enough, she dropped her head as if to say, "I knew it was a basket, but it looked so much like a bunch of twigs, and you know how I love to chew on sticks. I know, I should have known better, I do know better, but that dang squirrel was mocking me because he had the run of the yard and I was cooped up on the porch. I had to show him who was top dog, so I ate it and I am so sorry." (Yes, she really said all of that.)

"Georgia," I said, "We have talked about your chewing issues many times, when will you learn?" which caused her to slump down even further. I didn't say another word. I didn't have to - she knew I was mad, I knew she was sorry. But I sat there for awhile watching the top of her head until finally, she lifted it and looked at me. I couldn't resist her huge, brown sorrowful eyes and so I placed my hand on the top of her head. And that's all it took. That's all she needed. I didn't say anything, but here's what she "heard"..."Ok, George, I forgive you. Yes, you are still my friend. Maybe not my best friend right now, but my friend nonetheless." And as soon as I stroked her back, she knew we'd moved on.

Body language speaks volumes; understanding the body language of others and being aware of your own nonverbal cues can make you a better communicator. The words you choose are a critical part of your message, but studies have shown that body language plays a determinative role in how your message is received. Perhaps we should all bark less and wag more.

At Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching we help our clients "read" bodies because facial expression, body language and eye contact go a long way in getting your point across.

Laurie Reid manages the written word at Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching. After 3 years of her kids begging for a dog, she caved. She was envisioning a small dog that didn't shed and didn't necessarily like people. She wound up with a yellow lab; a dog known for its excessive shedding and love of people. Georgia loves everybody and everybody loves Georgia (except for the squirrels and the chipmunks).

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

2011-12-08T11:17:00.000-08:00

What do you want to be when you grow up? For some of us, even years after graduating from college, the answer still eludes us. The working world is ever-changing; from emerging technologies to environmental policy, careers that were not around ten years ago are now all the rage. Whether you are a student or fully engaged in a career at the moment, wouldn't you like to know what your personality is best suited for?

Knowing yourself - being honest about your likes and dislikes - can help you find a career that is both rewarding and satisfying. It would be nice to have a magic wand that could make the right decisions for us, but so far nobody has come up with that tool (note to self: that might be a career worth exploring.) Personality tests are no substitute for the all-knowing magic wand, but they do add a value as a starting point for some meaningful dialogue.

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment is a questionnaire designed to measure psychological preferences in how you perceive the world and make decisions. Katherine Cook Briggs and her daughter, Isabel Briggs Myers, created the test during World War II to help women who were entering the workforce for the first time identify the sort of jobs where they would be "most comfortable and effective." Today it is used by corporations to assess employees and identify significant personal preferences. Companies often look to the MBTI for help with group dynamics, employee training, leadership training and personal development. Here is a link to The Myers & Briggs Foundation website.

The purpose of the test is to help understand what motivates and energizes you by answering the questions: what type of tasks are you best equipped to perform and where are you most happy? But keep in mind that while the test reveals your personality type, it does not measure your skills. Moving to a new career may require different skills and qualifications, but many skills are universal and can be parlayed effectively into any career or profession. That's why it is important early on to develop soft skills such as writing, speaking, listening and thinking as they will help you be successful in whatever field you choose.

At this moment, you might not know what you want to be when you grow up, but you should be able to answer these questions:

Are you enriching your career skills?
How are you putting your career plan in motion?
Are you equipped to take advantage of a chance to shine?
Are you on the right track or do you need a coach to help guide you?

It seems trite, but self-development is the key to making choices and changes in your life. Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching offers a variety of courses and coaching options to meet the needs of all levels of career professionals and that includes those just starting out.

Take the lead with Ty Boyd.

New Year's Career Resolutions

2011-12-08T11:14:00.000-08:00

Thanks to our sluggish economy, it's easy to make excuses for not advancing your career or looking for a new position even if you are miserable in your current role. Once you've convinced yourself that there are no opportunities out there or that it's too risky to make a move in this economy, you give yourself a pass to do nothing. But doing nothing can cost you.

You might not be doing anything to further yourself, but smart employees are always positioning themselves for the next big opportunity - especially in an economy like ours. If you stay put and do nothing, you are going to be behind the eight ball and behind your competition when the economy picks up again.

So, let's make a few New Year's career resolutions, shall we?

I know it's not fair, but how we look matters in the workplace. There's a reason why getting fit and losing weight is one of the most popular New Year's resolutions. You don't have to look like George Clooney or Anne Hathaway, but you do need to be polished and professional because presentation counts. Be advised that casual dress doesn't mean slovenly. You should dress as you want to be seen: somebody who is serious, professional and moving up the ladder. Throw away those left-over Christmas cookies and start taking care of yourself.

A recent survey of New Year's resolutions found that getting organized was on the top of most people's list. How about starting with your resume? If you haven't done so in a while, chances are your resume needs some updating. Writing and updating a resume can be a daunting task - the challenge of summing up your career on one page and making it sound both compelling and irresistible is overwhelming. But if your current resume still lists positions that you held twenty years ago, you need to get busy. The good news is that resumes are submitted electronically these days so you won't have to agonize over the decision to go with bright white or creamy ivory.

Who hasn't put "spend more time with family and friends" in their top ten list of New Year's resolutions? It's a great career resolution, as well. If you have been lax regarding participation in a professional group, start networking! Focus on ways to make connections and don't rule out social networking. A few minutes on LinkedIn will result in many contacts from your current and prior employers, your customers, your vendors, and your college or university. Every contact has the potential to help you grow your career.

And last, but not least, how about learning something new in 2012? Consider learning to communicate more effectively. It will have a tremendous positive impact in all areas of your life. Expect an increase in happiness, confidence and successful social interaction. Knowing how to express yourself properly is the best gift you can give yourself. Sure, specialized business knowledge is important for any career, but it doesn't guarantee success because no matter how brilliant or invaluable your ideas are, they are worthless unless you can communicate them to others.

Happy New Year from the Ty Boyd Team and best of luck with your resolutions. Let us know if we can help you learn something new in 2012!

I'd Like to Propose a Toast...

2011-11-10T08:39:00.000-08:00

I cry every time I watch "It's a Wonderful Life". I'm able to hold it together when the townsfolk gather to help George Bailey out with his money problems, but as soon as George's brother, Harry, appears in the crowd, and says, "A toast...to my big brother George, the richest man in town", I lose it. Heck, I'm choking up just typing the words. What can I say, I'm a sucker for a good toast.

Offering a toast is a sincere and public way to pay tribute to someone special and it's the perfect way to top off a holiday celebration. With just a raise of a glass and the delivery of a few words, a gathering can become a meaningful, magical event.

This holiday season why not take Harry's lead and show your appreciation for your family and friends by proposing a toast. If the task is difficult for you, remember that you are contributing to a special occasion in a deeply unique and personal way. A toast is ultimately a gift of your words and your wishes. If your tongue gets tied and your palms get sweaty at the mere mention of a toast, take a few deep breaths and follow these steps:

Plan your toast: You might think that you will sound more spontaneous (particularly if you are imbibing in the bubbly) if you speak off the cuff, but your toast will be immeasurably better if you plan and practice. Get familiar with the points you want to make so that you sound more natural than rehearsed.

Stand Up Straight: Unless you are at a small, informal occasion, stand up and address your audience.

The toast is tastier if it's original: Make it simple and make it sincere. Be yourself and speak from your heart, not a script.

It's not about you: Place the emphasis on the message and the person you are saluting, not the messenger.

Adding Humor: Humor certainly has it's place, but keep it relevant and keep it clean.

Short and sweet: Nobody wants to listen to you ramble on before a meal. One to two minutes is plenty.

End on a positive note: Wave your glass to all, tip it towards the person you are toasting and end with a smile.

Preparation is the key to success in any toast. Planning well ahead is crucial and ensures that you will be more at ease when it's time to give the toast. Practice and preparation are communication tools that are available to everybody regardless of their speaking skills. No matter how resonant your voice, no matter how naturally effortless your posture, no matter what kind of smile you have or what kind of eye contact you learn to make - everybody has the ability to practice, practice, practice. And as we teach at Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching, if you use that one tool, you will be 90% ahead of most people.

Take a little pressure off yourself; it's not as much about the words, as it is the joy you are expressing. So, hold your glass up, look people directly in the eye, make it feel like a conversation, have fun....and suddenly...it's a wonderful life.

Salud, Prosit, Cheers, L'Chaim!

How to Avoid a Cornucopia of Craziness This Thanksgiving

2011-10-26T10:51:00.000-07:00

Ah, the image of Thanksgiving dinner - the one with the perfect family sitting around a festive table, counting their blessings and spreading love and joy. It's the picture forever ingrained in our minds. Unfortunately, that holiday fantasy doesn't always reflect real life. Let's face it, most families have some level of dysfunction and holidays tend to exacerbate family drama. Sometimes the way we communicate with one another creates distance rather than closeness. Surviving the turkey and all the trimmings with your extended family requires patience, savvy conversation skills and in some cases sheer determination.

Of course, you could avoid the drama by parking yourself on a couch in front of a football game, gorging yourself with snacks and drinking copious amounts of red wine. If that doesn't put you into a sleep-induced coma, surely the tryptophan in the turkey along with the pecan, apple and pumpkin pies will put you over the edge.

But instead of eating and drinking yourself into oblivion this holiday season to avoid the inevitable, how about making a conscious decision to enjoy Thanksgiving. Make it your mission to actually have a fun holiday - or at least a less stressful one. Is that asking too much?

Here are some things to think about that might help turn your angst into excitement. These tips are at the core of what we teach at Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching: communication skills are an important part of living a fulfilled life. Through practice and preparation we all can become effective communicators. Preparation is a habit of excellence. With that said...

Be prepared: To avoid overreacting in the heat of the moment, consider how you want to act and react before you even show up for the meal.

Be a compassionate listener: Listen to what people have to say - really listen. There is plenty of time to share your stories, but listen to the others around your table without judging.

Be realistic: Instead of imposing expectations on family members, be realistic. Accept everybody at the table for who they are and remember that we all have flaws and limitations.

Be in the moment: You are no longer 10 years old. You, your parents, your sisters, your brothers and all of your crazy relatives are now complicated adults. All of you are different, living your own lives with your own concerns and needs. But there is one thing you all have in common and that is the desire to be loved and acknowledged.

Be sensitive: Family dynamics change through marriage, divorce, death, illness, birth and all of life's other events. Be sensitive to how these changes affect your family.

Be aware of your audience: Avoid topics that might incense the crowd. Political debates may lead to WW III faster than you can say, "Pass the green been casserole."

Be you. Let go of trying to please everybody and be true to yourself. Make a conscious decision to enjoy yourself and to be lovely. You want the guests to leave you with smiles on their faces because they had a great time, not because they are leaving.

And last, but not least...be thankful. Be thankful that you get to cook a delicious meal, or be thankful that you have the day off from cooking. Be thankful that you get to travel, or rejoice that you don't have to leave town. Be thankful for your family. Be thankful for your friends. Be thankful for your country. Be thankful for your pet. Be thankful that you have the day off, or be thankful that you have a job.

Find something to be thankful for and celebrate it.

Up Close and Personal with Molly Boyd-Hunt

2011-10-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

Molly Boyd-Hunt

Molly Boyd-Hunt, Executive Faculty member at Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching, works with clients from the boardroom to the arena to boost their communication skills. Using a blend of humor and insightful storytelling, Molly teaches that important speeches are more like conversations with individuals rather than presentations to a crowd. Let's chat with Molly....

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
When I am feeling peaceful about my work/life balance, that's a 10 on the scale of happiness.

What is your greatest fear?
Letting down my family and friends.

What is your greatest extravagance?
Food. I will pay a lot of jack for good food. Yum.

What is your favorite journey?
The one I'm on as a parent. It's better than visiting foreign countries and I get to see wildlife right in my home.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Patience seems so cliche, right? So, I'll go with perseverance.

On what occasion do you lie?
I think it's ok to lie to a child about childhood stuff....like the ice cream machine is broken and Santa is really thin, and quite healthy, he just stuffs a pillow in his shirt.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Girl, when I'm with my friends, it's the word "girl". It drives me crazy, but girl, I can't stop.

What is your current state of mind?
Crazy, content, clear...in that order.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
My son would be potty trained.

What is your most treasured possession?
The ring on my right finger. It's a silver band that cost about $50 and it reads, "Faith...Love...Cooper" It's my magic eight ball when I have big questions.

What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?
Ooooh...get a massage. Heavenly.

What do you most value in friends?
Acceptance. To be completely free to be myself. No judging.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Shrek. He is perfectly imperfect.

Who are your heroes of real life?
Besides my mother, father and sister, Anne, I would say people who are facing death and those that persevere. And....dog lovers.

What is your motto?
Change always starts from a place of awareness.

When was the last time you cringed?
I have cringed several times answering these questions.

Will Speak for Food

2011-10-20T08:40:00.000-07:00

At the close of the two and a half day Excellence in Speaking course, one of our top instructors, Anne Boyd Moore, leaves our graduates with this thought: "You are now able to change what people think by how you communicate. Do you have the courage to use the skills that you've attained?"

That, of course, is the key: putting what you learned into a daily practice, pulling out all of the tools that you've acquired, one by one, and using them every chance that you get.

Practicing them
Honing them
Becoming proficient in their use

Right this minute you are probably thinking, "Well, sure, I realize that's what it's all about, but I don't get that many opportunities to practice in front of an audience." But, as the Ty Boyd faculty teaches, if you think that these tools and skills are only applicable when you are required to speak to a group, then you are missing about 90% of their value.

All of us speak to the public every day. Some days, our public is our children, our spouse, our boss, our coworkers, our customers. Some days, the event that will demand the most of our skills is as simple as getting our point across to the car dealership mechanic. Every day, in every way, we communicate. We need to do it well, do it effectively and use the tools that are taught in Ty Boyd's Excellence in Speaking course.

With that said, if you want to get in front of a room of people and practice your speaking skills, there are many opportunities for that, as well. Every day there are meetings of networking groups, professional associations and community organizations in your area. Many of these organizations need speakers. Granted, most won't pay you, but they might throw in a free lunch. The opportunity to reach an audience, build your reputation, cause customers to seek you out, and to fine tune those tools is worth every minute of your time. The boxed lunch is simply a bonus.

You can find groups to speak to by watching for meeting notices in newspapers and newsletters and asking local chambers of commerce for directories of organizations. Figure out who your target audience is and identify the groups that meet your criteria.

Here are some do's and don'ts to keep in mind the next time you give a speech:

Use a good title for your talk.
Establish a bond with your audience. For instance, point out local people you know, or local events with which you are familiar.
Never talk down to your audience.
80% of our ideas come from what we see. Use objects to illustrate your talk even if they are only newspaper clippings or pamphlets.
Never run over your allotted time.

The more speaking engagements you do, the better you get. The better you get, the more your confidence grows. Becoming an effective speaker builds your credibility and influence and opens up all sorts of career opportunities.

The Dorito Distraction

2011-10-18T09:30:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, I graduated from Ty Boyd's Excellence in Speaking course. To say that I loved the class is an understatement. And while I am part of the Ty Boyd team, rest assured that the faculty does not pay me to wax poetic about their classes. It's simply an added bonus that I work for a company whose products I revere (and whose newsletter I produce). As a result of taking the class, I am much more aware of the tools needed to be an effective communicator and I am constantly working to improve my skills. One of the many things I learned in Excellence in Speaking is that few things can affect the effectiveness of your speech like unwanted distractions.

When one of my classmates played with his wedding band throughout his speech, the feedback he received from the group was that the ring was a major distraction. Another speaker shuffled note cards in her hands while addressing the audience, and still another played with her hair while delivering a speech. Tiny movements, but huge distractions. Most of the speakers were completely unaware that they were distracting from their message.

I was thinking about that lesson when I sat down with my son the other day. He had just come home from a full day of basketball camp and inquired about a bag of Doritos he saw in the pantry. Picture, if you will, a small bag of chips, the kind you get with a Subway sandwich when you upgrade to a meal deal. Got the picture? I can snarf down one of those bad boys in about 2 minutes. And that's a conservative estimate. Now, I usually do not have this type of deliciousness on the shelves of my pantry (for the aforementioned reason), but I told my son that he was welcome to it, as long as he sat down and told me about his day. As I listened to his stories, I fixated on his approach to eating a bag of tortilla chips and as a result, I missed about 99% of what he was saying. Which is exactly what I learned in the Excellence in Speaking course; distractions detract from the message.

Here's what I remember: first of all, only one chip leaves the bag at a time. Never, not once, did I see more than one chip in his hand. Each chip is nibbled at least four times, sometimes five or six, before it is completely disappears in his mouth. And, each bite requires at least ten chews before the chip is actually swallowed. While the chip is slowly pecked at, he twists and turns it as if he is in search of the perfect bite; as if, somehow he is solving a puzzle. He keeps his eyes focused on the Dorito while his fingers and lips gradually turn a bright, neon shade of orange. He never speaks with his mouth full, and by "full" I mean with an 1/8th of a piece of Dorito chip, but instead, holds up his orange-stained pointer to indicate that I need to wait for him to swallow before he can elaborate.

The visual of him eating the Dorito is forever burned in my memory. But please, do no ask me if he enjoyed basketball camp, because I don't remember a single word he said.

Molly Hunt and Anne Boyd Moore, my coaches in the Excellence in Speaking course taught me that you cannot possibly prepare for every single distraction, but that you can eliminate those which you can control.

Is the room set up so that people who come in late or leave early can enter or exit without crossing between you and the audience?
Is the first row of chairs or tables too close or too far away from you?
Is everything you need for your audio-visual support there and in working order?
Handouts ready? Microphone turned on?
Is the room set up awkwardly, perhaps requiring you to turn your back on some members of the audience in order to face others?
Is the room too dark, too bright? Too cold, too hot?
Is there a window behind you offering a distracting view to the audience?

I can hear Anne Boyd Moore's voice in my head, "When you walk in the room where you are presenting, look around. You'll be surprised how many little things you can find to tweak; little things that will make a big difference in your ability to connect with the audience. When you own your territory, you are more comfortable, you are more effective and your audience are more receptive to your message."

I wonder what Anne would say about Doritos?

Dealing With the Stress of Speaking in Public

2011-10-18T09:29:00.000-07:00

Instead of effectively dealing with the stress of speaking in public, many people avoid it like the plague. Others relegate it to the "necessary evil" category and do it reluctantly when they can't pawn it off on somebody else. And then there are those who look at public speaking as an opportunity to carry a career forward, to build networks, to establish a reputation, and to increase visibility within an organization. Last month, fifty people enrolled in Ty Boyd's Excellence in Speaking course because they recognized the importance of being an effective communicator. They graduated with more than they bargained for: they expected to become better speakers, but they never imagined the confidence they would gain by speaking in public.

When asked how the course would help further his career, one student explained it like this: "Before I took the course, I had the knowledge and the experience to excel in my career, the problem I had was conveying my message. I was never sure how to start or end a presentation. I didn't know how to make my presentations interesting and unique. And even though I knew my stuff, I had trouble thinking on my feet. Now I have the tools and I know how to use them. Now I have the confidence - and that's a good feeling. I have the confidence to demonstrate my expertise and showcase my insights and experience."

One of the graduates had initially planned on a few one-on-one coaching sessions with a Ty Boyd faculty member, but decided that taking Excellence in Speaking would give him practice in front of a group which he felt he desperately needed to get over his fear of speaking in public. What he didn't anticipate was how nurturing and supportive the group atmosphere would be for him. He expected a classroom of 20 or so students following a detailed, fixed agenda. What he was delighted to find was an intimate group of eight people with a high degree of interaction and conversation. Yet, the individual attention and coaching that he received pushed him beyond his limits. He explained it like this, "I was up on my feet speaking several times a day.There were so many opportunities to practice my communication tools and then receive feedback - not only from the coaches - but from the other students. Each time a new concept was introduced or put to me as a challenge, I had a chance to work on it over and over again until I felt like I had a handle on it."

A two and a half day course is a big time commitment for most people. Being away from your desk and coming back to voice mails, emails and playing catch up can be overwhelming. But not a single graduate said that they would change a thing about the course. "I wouldn't have shortened the course by even one hour, " said one student, "putting everything aside to concentrate on becoming a better communicator was an investment in myself and my career."

As is often the case, we received a lot of feedback on the coaches from the latest crop of graduates. Most had not expected the coaching to be so personal and insightful. Every student received individual feedback and guidance that addressed concerns that were unique to them. When asked if he would recommend the course, one graduate put it like this, "The interaction between the coaches kept the class entertaining as well as informative and educational. The mood was light, but professional and I never once looked at the clock. And that's saying a lot. Yes, I would absolutely recommend Excellence in Speaking."

Enrolling in the Excellence in Speaking course is not about learning practical skills, it's about learning to become a powerful communicator, it's about self-empowerment. We at Ty Boyd wish our latest graduates the greatest success and thank them for embarking on their communication journey.

What Do Yoga and Public Speaking Have in Common?

2011-06-24T11:25:00.000-07:00

Both yoga and public speaking are disciplines that require commitment and regular practice and each demands that you stretch beyond your comfort zone to increase your flexibility. Nobody knows that more than Molly Boyd Hunt, Executive Faculty member at Ty Boyd, who has been practicing yoga for a long time, and speaking in public for even longer.

Yogis caution their students not to push to the point of pain during a yoga pose, but instead to increase stretches over time in increments. Doing so allows you to eventually achieve poses that seemed nearly impossible at the start of a yoga practice. "The same can be applied to public speaking" says Molly, "ongoing practice allows you to stretch your speaking skills enabling you to become a more effective communicator."

Yoga and public speaking have something else in common: breathing. It's all about the breathing. Every yoga pose relies on proper breathing techniques to relax the body and focus the mind so that you can get the maximum benefit from your practice. Control your breath and you can control anything...even your speaking.

Molly suggests that before you begin speaking, take deep, solid breaths to steady yourself. Whether you are speaking to a large crowd, or engaged in a conversation with just one other person, get in the habit of steady, regular breathing to calm your voice and keep you relaxed. And don't be afraid of the pause. Speakers often want to avoid silence, so they use filler words like "um," "ah," and "like," as a verbal bridge to the next word. But they really aren't bridges at all. In fact, they are roadblocks that distract the audience and interrupt the flow of the message. Molly is quick to point out that filling the silence with "um" does not make you sound smarter than when you say nothing at all. Molly teaches her students about the power of a pause and encourages them to embrace it.

A pause causes your audience to lean in and listen. It introduces an element of anticipation and heightens expectations. Not only does it make your speech easier to listen to, it makes your communication come across as more compelling. And remember, a pause is never as long to the audience as it feels to you. Each time that you take a significant pause during a presentation, take a deep breath. Maintaining steady breathing helps control your volume and tone making you come across as clear and confident to your audience.

In the Excellence in Speaking course, Molly Hunt teachers her students to be better communicators through preparation and practice. And when the time comes to deliver a presentation, she tells them to focus on three part breathing:

Take a deep breath slowly through the nose as though you are filling a glass of water.
Bring all the air to the bottom of your belly, then upper belly, then chest.
Exhale in reverse.

Breathing is infectious; how many times have you yawned causing those around you to yawn, as well? A yawn is nothing more than a deep breath and there is very little that a deep breath can't fix. Try taking a deep breath at the start of your next speech and see what it does for both you and your audience.

Namaste.

Ty Boyd Showcases a New Look

2011-06-24T11:08:00.000-07:00

We've been busy at Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching. You've heard the old adage, "don't change for changes sake", well at Ty Boyd, we think that might be the very best reason to change. Change forces us to approach things in a different way; a simple perspective change can open up a whole new world of possibilities. Sometimes the only way to create room for new ideas is to change. Ty Boyd has always been, and will continue to be, committed to helping you and your business grow by offering products, courses and one-on-one coaching in presentation, public speaking and listening skills. We've simply stepped it up a notch...

For over 30 years, the Ty Boyd brand has been alive and kicking; constantly evolving and adapting to a dynamic world and economic climate. We thought it was high time that we freshen things up by better aligning the Ty Boyd experience with the Ty Boyd brand. At first glance, the icon in our new logo looks like the spokes on a wheel. Look again - it is actually made up of several quotation marks placed in an endless circular movement mimicking the ongoing cycle of effective two-way communication. Interestingly enough, the center of the icon forms a diamond which symbolizes the value we place on powerful, impelling communication at Ty Boyd.

But we've done more than change our logo...say hello to three new faces at Ty Boyd! Team Boyd is growing so that we can build a more powerful experience for our clients. Our newest team members will support our highly-skilled executives and faculty. We are developing more products to help you reach new levels of leadership by dramatically improving your ability to communicate more effectively, powerfully, confidently and authentically. We'll keep you updated in this newsletter as venues and courses come available.

And speaking of our newsletter, what do you think of our brand new format? You can look forward to hearing from us every month. Be sure to check out our new website which we like to think of as a virtual portrait of Ty Boyd Executive Communication & Coaching. We've debuted our new logo, added new features, and made it easier to navigate. We've also included helpful communication tools and tips. Everything you need to know about Ty Boyd is just a click away. Now your digital experience with Ty Boyd will be just as rewarding as meeting us in person.

Well, almost...

We'd still prefer meeting you face-to-face. We love our slick, new technology, but at Ty Boyd, we believe in maintaining a truly human connection when communicating. Sure, it's easy to click and send, but sharing information in person has a far greater impact. Let us help you with your presentation, leadership, public speaking and sales skills. We might have a new polished look, but we still have the same tried and true integrity and values.

As always, we want to hear what you have to say. Go to our website and tell us what you think about the new and improved Ty Boyd!

Here's the Skinny on the Excellence in Speaking Course ...

2011-06-24T10:38:00.000-07:00

It's described as an intensive two and a half day course designed to improve your communication skills in all types of situations from formal presentations, to round table discussions, to one-on-one meetings. (Whoa, that sounds intense). The mission is to disarm fear and underscore the ability to think on one's feet. (OK, now I'm scared.) And in order to tackle these objectives, the participants present to the class several times each day. (Are you kidding me?)

Nope. Not kidding.

I wouldn't say that I went kicking and screaming, but I was apprehensive about attending Ty Boyd's Excellence in Speaking course. The literature I read advised that I relax and have some fun during the class. But my idea of fun does not include being videotaped - doing anything - much less giving a speech. But it turns out that after two and half days, I didn't want to leave. In fact, I left kicking and screaming.

The faculty set the mood right from the start; Anne Boyd Moore and Molly Boyd Hunt are personable and engaging and while I was initially afraid of embarrassing myself, they quickly eliminated the fear and put me at ease. Each brings their own voice and personality to their coaching, but both are encouraging, supportive and non-judgemental. I must admit, at first I was skeptical, fearing their style might be a little too kumbaya and not enough constructive criticism, but two hours and two speeches later, I was sold. Together they create a nurturing environment that focuses on your individual communication strengths, and then coach you to develop and polish the skills that do not come as easily, but are necessary to be a successful communicator.

The course isn't based on a book, or a theory, or the coaches' subjective experience. This course is designed to improve your uniqueness and your individuality. Anne and Molly recognize and encourage your individual thought process and creativity and by doing so, they boost your confidence. But they do this subtly; they are not cheerleaders, they are coaches. While your confidence grows, so does your enthusiasm, and before you know it, you are developing your own style of public speaking.

In addition to being spirited coaches who are fervent believers in their students, both Anne and Molly are phenomenal speakers. I could listen to them all day long; they know their stuff and their passion is contagious. Add to this Molly's sense of humor and entertaining story-telling ability, and Anne's informative instruction and unflappable composure and you have a team that plays off of each other in a way that makes the art of communication enlightening and entertaining. It's a rare duo that makes you think, laugh and feel good about communicating in all types of business situations.

There were all levels in the class that I attended, but whether you are a novice or an experienced speaker, I guarantee you will benefit from the information and the focus on coaching and practice. Sure, I could be accused of being biased, what with me being an employee of Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching, and the author of this newsletter, but it was such a positive, up-lifting experience that I feel the need to tell everybody I know (and don't know) to enroll in Excellence in Speaking ASAP. Anne and Molly taught me so much, not the least of which is that no speaker is perfect. I certainly do not claim to be perfect, but I can honestly say that I am better for having taken this course.

I am looking forward to Excellence in Speaking Advanced.