How to Avoid a Cornucopia of Craziness This Thanksgiving

Ah, the image of Thanksgiving dinner - the one with the perfect family sitting around a festive table, counting their blessings and spreading love and joy. It's the picture forever ingrained in our minds. Unfortunately, that holiday fantasy doesn't always reflect real life. Let's face it, most families have some level of dysfunction and holidays tend to exacerbate family drama. Sometimes the way we communicate with one another creates distance rather than closeness. Surviving the turkey and all the trimmings with your extended family requires patience, savvy conversation skills and in some cases sheer determination.

Of course, you could avoid the drama by parking yourself on a couch in front of a football game, gorging yourself with snacks and drinking copious amounts of red wine. If that doesn't put you into a sleep-induced coma, surely the tryptophan in the turkey along with the pecan, apple and pumpkin pies will put you over the edge.

But instead of eating and drinking yourself into oblivion this holiday season to avoid the inevitable, how about making a conscious decision to enjoy Thanksgiving. Make it your mission to actually have a fun holiday - or at least a less stressful one. Is that asking too much?

 

Here are some things to think about that might help turn your angst into excitement. These tips are at the core of what we teach at Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching: communication skills are an important part of living a fulfilled life. Through practice and preparation we all can become effective communicators. Preparation is a habit of excellence. With that said...

Be prepared: To avoid overreacting in the heat of the moment, consider how you want to act and react before you even show up for the meal.

Be a compassionate listener: Listen to what people have to say - really listen. There is plenty of time to share your stories, but listen to the others around your table without judging.

Be realistic: Instead of imposing expectations on family members, be realistic. Accept everybody at the table for who they are and remember that we all have flaws and limitations.

Be in the moment: You are no longer 10 years old. You, your parents, your sisters, your brothers and all of your crazy relatives are now complicated adults. All of you are different, living your own lives with your own concerns and needs. But there is one thing you all have in common and that is the desire to be loved and acknowledged.

Be sensitive: Family dynamics change through marriage, divorce, death, illness, birth and all of life's other events. Be sensitive to how these changes affect your family.

Be aware of your audience: Avoid topics that might incense the crowd. Political debates may lead to WW III faster than you can say, "Pass the green been casserole."

Be you. Let go of trying to please everybody and be true to yourself. Make a conscious decision to enjoy yourself and to be lovely. You want the guests to leave you with smiles on their faces because they had a great time, not because they are leaving.

And last, but not least...be thankful. Be thankful that you get to cook a delicious meal, or be thankful that you have the day off from cooking. Be thankful that you get to travel, or rejoice that you don't have to leave town. Be thankful for your family. Be thankful for your friends. Be thankful for your country. Be thankful for your pet. Be thankful that you have the day off, or be thankful that you have a job.

Find something to be thankful for and celebrate it.