Why You Fear Public Speaking

For over 30 years we have worked with clients who have a fear of public speaking. In our experience, eliminating the fear is not possible. And, believe it or not, it isn't even desirable. What we give our clients is a way to change the way they think about, and therefore the way they react to fear. We help eliminate the voice in their head that says they can't do it, by coaching them to identify and develop the skills they already have to become master communicators. Our clients learn not to let fear control them, but rather how to control the fear. The process transforms people, their careers and their sense of self.

Along the way, the coaches at Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching have become experts in identifying what it is that contributes to the anxiety associated with public speaking. Here is our list:

• The need to be perfect: If your benchmark is to be perfect, you'll probably fail every time. Doing your best is an attainable goal, being perfect is not. The goal of your presentation should be to connect with your audience, not the perfection of your speech. Being perfect is the number one contributor to emotionally crippling fear.

• Forgetting your speech: Your goal is to remember the key points of your presentation, not to memorize it word for word. You are the only one who knows what you are going to say and chances are the audience will not notice if you forget something. Practice. Practice in front of a mirror, practice in front of a friend, practice until you are confident that you know your material and then stop worrying about forgetting something.
• The need to be the smartest person in the room : Your goal as the presenter is to create a powerful presentation that captivates, connects and creates action with your audience. There may be people in the audience that may be more knowledgeable about the topic, but they will not have your perspective.
• Appearing nervous: You may feel your heart beating out of your chest, but if you don't tell your audience, they can't see it. Our perceptions about ourselves are not always accurate. We feel nervous, so we think we look it, but the truth is, most of us don't show our nerves. And confidence and nervousness are not mutually exclusive: you can feel nervous on the inside but still have confidence.
• Not knowing the answer to a question:You are not expected to know every answer to every question. Admitting that you don't know an answer is not a sign of failure. Practice by thinking of all the questions that you might be asked, but during your rehearsals also practice saying, "I don't know, but I will research the question and get back to you."

If you want to be the most effective communicator that you can be, you need to put your fear to work for you. A lot of energy is generated from fear and fear can actually become your ally. At Ty Boyd, we help you manage fear and turn it into your most powerful speaking tool.

The Yoga of Public Speaking

In a previous post, I wrote about what yoga and public speaking have in common. It turns out that some of my favorite public speakers are yoga instructors. The best of the best not only guide their class through a physical workout, they impart ideas and words of wisdom to their students. They are communicators in the truest sense of the word. Some use metaphors, others incorporate personal stories, some add humor and others communicate with silence - until the silence is broken with a meaningful take on life. A great yoga instructor, like a great public speaker, doesn't talk for the sake of talking, they make every word count.

When we coach our clients at Ty Boyd, we make sure they understand that speaking isn't about the speaker, it's about the audience. And when we say it's about the audience, we don't mean impressing the audience with polished communication skills, we mean providing a meaningful message that benefits the audience and inspires them to act. Effective communication is creating an experience and connecting with people. And of course, the best yoga instructors know this to be true.

In our Excellence in Speaking course we refer to filler words as non-words and blogged about their lack of effectiveness here. A compelling yoga instructor understands the importance of clear communication when giving cues on how to flow from one pose to the next. Phrases like, "now begin to," and "now go ahead and" are fillers that offer no help to yogis who are listening to their instructor for guidance and instruction. To be effective, yoga teachers concentrate on the tone and the tempo of their voice. They speak loud and clear and are aware that an energetic voice can inspire a student to release further into a pose. These same tools are what great public speakers rely on when addressing an audience.

Each instructor has a unique teaching style that draws on personal experiences and preferences and emphasizes different aspects of yoga. But there is one commonality that you will find in every great yoga instructor and that is the ability to communicate well. 

Why Develop Your Public Speaking Skills?

Employment experts agree that while technical skills may get you an interview, soft skills will get you the job and will help you keep it. Employers look for people who can effectively work as part of a team. That means an employee who can express himself well during a presentation and has the ability to listen to and persuade others in a conversation.

One of the biggest career mistakes you can make is focusing on the development of your hard skills without being aware of how critical building confidence while developing effective public speaking skills are to your profession life. Of course academics, technical skills and experience are vital to your success, but if you think that public speaking is important only in an obscure or abstract way, it's time to think again. Learning to be an effective speaker can be the difference between success and failure.

The truth of the matter is, when people have similar talents and are competing for the same position or the same opportunity, the real differentiator is one's ability to communicate. This skill enables you to quickly connect and build rapport, earn respect, gain influence and become more likable and accepted. This is just as important in your personal life as it is in your professional life. 

There are many reasons to develop your public speaking skills. Here are just a few:

• Learning to speak well in public increases your self confidence and prepares you to meet future challenges

• The skills you will develop by learning to be an effective speaker will boost your performance in the office and at home

• Practicing your public speaking on a regular basis makes you more comfortable around other people

• By sharing information with others through public speaking, you will be better able to increase the impact of your goals 

• Mastering your public speaking skills will help you fine-tune your everyday verbal and non-verbal skills

• Public speaking is a true career booster and extremely relevant to overall job success

The good news is, like any skill, communication skills can be learned. But they are not something that you can study in a book and get better. Improvement takes practice. Practice, practice, practice. It's about changing yourself, your perception and your approach. Once you do that, people's reaction of you will change, as well. Let the folks at Ty Boyd help you improve your public speaking skills.