Communications Skills are the Key to Success in Life, Work and Relationships

Most families deal with a little stress from time to time, but during the holidays, the stress level can go through the roof. It doesn't help that we are constantly bombarded with that Norman Rockwell image of the "perfect" holiday which causes parents and children to develop unrealistic expectations.

A big part of the stress is a direct result of poor communication - which is as common as overeating during the holidays. Arguments ensue over shopping, decorating, attending parties and all the other minutia that holidays involve.

Take, for instance, the holiday photo card. I gave up sending the photo card long ago. While I always managed to get a great picture of my kids, it was not without a great deal of effort and a lot of stress. As soon as I mentioned the need to take a holiday photo, my son, who is normally a pretty easy going kid, would turn into a crazed lunatic who refused to cooperate, much less smile. My daughter copped an attitude of monument proportions. And my husband, who is a fantastic photographer, would forget to bring his flash to the shoot or would take 20 minutes of photos with the wrong lens.

The year that finally put me over the edge was when my son bit my daughter during the photo shoot and my husband captured it beautifully on film (yes, we were using film back then). My son looks rather smug while my daughter, holding her wounded arm, is crying her eyes out. Of course, as luck would have it, it was the only shot that my husband captured beautifully that year. I was tempted to use it for my card with the caption, "Peace on Earth, Goodwill Toward Men" but I didn't think sarcasm belonged in a holiday card.

Fighting and stress do not have to be part of your holiday tradition. Set a time to discuss family issues before the holidays are upon you. Being proactive and prepared can ensure that everyone enjoys the holidays. It takes time and effort to develop family communication skills, but a family that can communicate well can better handle stress, can resolve daily conflicts, and will raise children who are able to communicate well for the rest of their lives.

At Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching, we believe that good communication skills are key to success in life, work and relationships.

Who is Your Trusted Adviser?

To build on your public speaking skills, we at Ty Boyd, Inc. are big believers in practice. If you practice, you will be ready, you will be effective and you will succeed as a communicator. Through practice, you will learn to make better use of your voice, to stand tall, to move effectively, and to connect with your audience. All of your speaking tools become more polished with practice.

Practice is important, but getting feedback also helps on the journey to becoming an effective communicator. Not just any old feedback; honest feedback. And that's not always an easy thing to get. Colleagues are often hesitant to offer reviews of their peers and even less willing to share their bona fide opinions with their managers.

Many of us have a trusted adviser - somebody who wants us to succeed, who believes in us, and who can tell us the truth while being supportive. If you do not have somebody - or a few somebodies - like that in your professional life, you need to cultivate those relationships. Before you can get honest feedback on your speaking skills, you need to have built a sense of trust and respect with an adviser who has your back, but will give it to you straight.

Once you have established a rapport, you create an opportunity to be coached. Don't confuse constructive criticism with coaching; despite the term, most constructive criticism isn't constructive or beneficial because it puts you on the defensive. The distinction is subtle, but important to the faculty at Ty Boyd, Inc. A Ty Boyd coach is someone who invests in your growth, believes you can do better, and works with you to do so. Our coaches are trusted advisers who help clients discover their own authentic style and voice. If you are interested in discussing how a communications coach would work for you, please let us know.

You've Got Three Minutes to Make an Impact

Speeches do not have to be long to be great. Speeches do not have to be long to be important. In a few short minutes, a speaker can deliver a powerful message with significant impact. As long as the speech is relevant and it inspires an audience, the speech has the potential to be great.

During one of our nation's darkest periods, Lincoln's Gettysburg Address was a passionate call for action that inspired and motivated his audience. Lincoln spoke to a crowd of 15,000 at Soldier's National Cemetery in Gettysburg that day in 1863, but his carefully crafted message connected with an entire nation. A nation, in the midst of a civil war, fighting to determine whether the Unites States could continue to exist.

Click here to read the Gettysburg Address

Lincoln was wrong when he said, "The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here." The Gettysburg Address, has become one of the most quoted, most memorized pieces of oratory in American history. In fact, on September 11, 2002, one year after the attacks on the World Trade Center, and one hundred and thirty-nine years after Lincoln delivered his famous speech, New York Governor George Pataki chose to recite the Gettysburg's Address at a memorial service at Ground Zero. Once again, Lincoln's words, which describe a journey more than an outcome, captured the spirit of a nation seeking to maintain their unity in the face of divisiveness and violence and striving for peace, harmony, liberty, freedom and justice for all.

It sounds as if a three-minute speech would be too short to make an impact, but clearly that is not the case. If you had just three minutes to speak, what would you say?

Next Year's Training Needs

 

It's December, time to wrap up the holiday gifts and then wrap up the year. Examine what you have accomplished in 2012, and put together a plan for next year's training needs.

The workplace is rapidly changing; the skills that you have now may not be in demand in a few years. But, employers will always value core skills like communication, team-building, and listening. Many of the skills that you need to succeed have as much relevance in your personal life as they do in your professional life. Sure, it's important to have good ideas and good technical skills, but it's even more important to be able to present them and defend them with passion and conviction.

Make sure that you have the proper training in presentation techniques, public speaking, and negotiating skills because communicating effectively and being adept in social situations gives you a leg up in networking and forging important working relationships.

Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching offers Excellence in Speaking seven times throughout 2013: February 13-15, April 10-12, June 5-7, August 7-9, October 2-4, November 6-8 and December 4-6. Click here to register. The two and a half day, limited enrollment, communications course concentrates on arguably the most important business skill: speaking well in public.

Excellence in Speaking is an entertaining, interactive class where participants prepare short talks on simple topics. Our approach to public speaking combines peer review with professional coaching. You will be on your feet at least a dozen times throughout the course and several presentations are videotaped and then reviewed one-on-one with an executive faculty member.

And while you are planning for your future, you may consider training for your team, as well. Team building is not the primary goal of Excellence in Speaking - it's just a wonderful outcome of the experience. Everybody in the room is experiencing the same thing; rolling up their sleeves and becoming vulnerable with each other. When you begin to do that, you can't help but form a strong bond - and that's how a team is born. The faculty at Ty Boyd will work directly with your organization to implement this course so that it aligns with your organization's cultural directives.

Our courses are personal development experiences that can be applied to formal presentations, business meetings and everyday communication. The confidence that our clients gain from our coaching makes a real difference in their lives - both in and out of work.

Here's to a productive 2013!

So, um....like...What is a Filler Word?

So, um, what exactly is a filler word? Well...uh...a filler word is, like, a part of speech that is usually not written (this article being the exception), but used as a place holder to give a speaker time to find the right word or to gather his thoughts. If I had a dime for every time I heard a speaker struggle with eliminating the "ums" and the "uhs" from his vocabulary, I'd be, like, a millionaire.

In our Excellence in Speaking course, we call filler words "non-words". They contribute nothing and weaken your overall effectiveness as a speaker. Non-words make you sound unprofessional and give the impression that you are not prepared and not confident. Therefore, breaking the habit of filling your silences with non-words is of the utmost importance.

Primer Magazine refers to filler words as "the heroin of the language world" and warns that withdrawals are not easy. But it can absolutely be done and we can help.

Getting past the usage of non-words enables you to become a noticeably more effective communicator. Here are a few guidelines:

• Don't be afraid to pause and take a break: You don't have to fill in the pauses with empty words. A pause causes your audience to lean in and listen. It introduces an element of anticipation and heightens expectations. Not only does it make your speech easier to listen to, it makes your communication come across as more compelling. And remember, a pause is never as long to the audience as it feels to you. Each time that you take a significant pause during a presentation, take a deep breath.

• Organize your thoughts: Think about what you want to say before you say it - and then say the words.

• Practice: When you know your speaking topic inside and out, you will be more confident and better prepared - which is the first defense against non-words. Practice in front of a friend or colleague and have them count the number of times you use a non-word. Or better yet, have them ring a bell every time you utter a filler.

• Keep it simple: Delivering large volumes of information can be overwhelming for the speaker as well as the audience. Pick a few points, emphasize them, and then wrap it up. Talking about  too many things makes your speech ripe for ah and um takeover.

Let the coaches at Ty Boyd, Inc. help you communicate your message more clearly, create a more commanding, confident image and help you avoid um, er and ah.