The Business of Good Manners

Good manners evolved form common sense and respect for others. Manners are learned in the home and carried into the workplace. Thanks to your mother, most people know that please and thank you are the magic words and that it doesn't hurt to throw in an "excuse me" for good measure.

Is it necessary to have good manners in the workplace? Your mother would most likely say yes, but I'm sure that each of us can think of a few examples of rude and inconsiderate colleagues who are quite successful in their jobs. But, it goes without saying that most employees prefer to work with and for people who treat them with dignity and respect.

Good manners are useful in any situation, but have particular importance in business communications. Using proper etiquette when giving speeches, sending emails, returning phone calls, or text messaging displays both your professionalism and common courtesy. The ability to communicate politely, powerfully and effectively will put you on the road to success.

One might assume that manners come naturally for most adults, but unfortunately that is not always the case. So, I present to you a list of basic expectations in today's workplace. Of course, this basic list is just a start. It can be applied to your client relationships and personal relationships, as well.

• Respond to email and voicemail promptly: Ideally within 24 hours. We all have the same 24 hours in a day; don't kid yourself that you are busier than the next guy.

• Be on time: For work, for deadlines, for meetings, for lunches, for everything. It shows respect and it shows you are responsible.

• Don't interrupt: You cannot communicate effectively with others if you are not listening

• Put down your smart phone: Don't review documents or look at your computer screen either, give your audience your undivided attention. 

• Practice good table manners: Don't speak with your mouth full, don't use your napkin as a handkerchief and don't double dip.

• Be courteous to everybody: That includes every single person from the CEO, to the UPS delivery person, to the waiter at lunch.

• Monitor the volume of your conversations: Remember back in the day when people used to go into a phone booth to make a call in public? Unfortunately, those booths no longer exist, but they've been replaced with our "inside voice".

Give us a call at Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching for help with professional etiquette in the office. We can provide you and your team with an understanding of office courtesy, technology protocol, meeting manners, cubicle conduct and much more.

Do you have the savvy civility to pass "Miss Business Manner's" 15 question etiquette quiz? Give it a try.

Keep it Short and Simple

Tightening your talk and delivering it within an allotted time is a vital speaking skill. When a presenter runs over the permitted time, it shows a lack of respect for the audience. Long rambling presentations very rarely impress, but instead can actually irritate an audience. Talking excessively does not increase the probability of an audience understanding or agreeing with what you have to say.

So, how do you ensure that you say enough without saying too much? Most of the time, if a presenter speaks too long it is because he or she hasn't planned or rehearsed enough. Remember the 4 P's: plan, prepare, practice and present. Don't try to cover too much ground - three or four points is plenty. Once you have your presentation put together - practicing will ensure that your presentation is within the allocated time period. Practice, practice, practice.

But what if you are not assigned a specific time; how long should your speech be? The answer is - as long as it takes to provide your audience with a valuable message. Figure out what your audience needs to know, consider the fact that you don't have forever, and then make the most of your time. You'll get a lot more bang for your buck if you focus on the time spent preparing your speech, rather than the time spent giving your speech. If you stick to the topic and stay focused, you will never be in front of the audience for too long.

These same principals can be applied to business and personal conversations. Be cognizant of how long you speak and how best to get your message across when you are in meeting or on the phone. 

If you have to choose between whether to talk more or less, pick less as most audiences have short attention spans. The goal is to make your speech memorable and leave them wanting more. Look at it this way: nobody has ever given a good speech that was considered too long, and yet, a bad speech is never over soon enough. And in the spirit of knowing when to shut up, it's time for me to wrap this post up. I'll leave you with a few thoughts to ponder.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand - Author Unknown

Be sincere; be brief, be seated - Franklin D. Roosevelt

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest. - Winston S. Churchill

The Difference Between a Good Speaker and a Great Speaker

I recently attended a talk given by Dr. Wendy Mogel, nationally known clinical psychologist, public speaker and author of New York Times best-selling parenting book The Blessing of a B Minus. The presentation wasn't good...it was great. Wendy Mogel far exceeded my expectations: she had me at hello, and when she wrapped things up forty-five minutes later, I wasn't nearly ready for her to walk off the stage.

So what is the difference between a good speaker and a great speaker? 

From the moment Dr. Mogel walked on to the stage, she made her presence known. She was focused and passionate about her message and delivered it with enthusiasm and humor. She spoke from her heart and pulled the audience into the presentation. She oozed confidence and knowledge and while I didn't want her talk to end, I was inspired to get home and try to navigate the rough waters of raising a teenager using some of Dr. Mogel's teachings.

Her topic was very serious: how to raise responsible, resilient, well-balanced teenagers using Jewish teachings and psychological insight, but I was smiling and laughing most of the time. She mentioned that her father was the editor for National Lampoon Magazine when she was a child, which explains her humorous style. Dr Mogel is a master storyteller and the wisdom she shares is funny and real. Her forty-five minutes of insight into raising teenagers was pure enjoyment, almost like a stand up comic routine for parents of teens. But at the same time it was extremely helpful - providing me with a much needed dose of confidence and an action plan for improving my own parenting style.

Before hearing her speak, I read both of Wendy Mogel's parenting books and found them to be astute and well-written. Her reputation and credibility precedes her; she not only studied psychology and child development but also managed to successfully raise two teenage daughters of her own. Her books are filled with relevant real-life examples from her practice in Los Angeles where she sees families and children. But she brought those stories to life when I heard her speak on stage. Mogel has a knack for distilling parental neuroses into humorous anecdotes that puts her audience at ease while she patiently walks them through scenarios designed to reduce anxiety. I couldn't help but recognize myself and my child in her scenarios. It was almost as if she was speaking directly to me.

Ever since I took Excellence in Speaking the inner coach in me has been unleashed. I cannot watch The Golden Globes or Academy Awards without considering ways that the actors could improve upon their acceptance speeches. So, sure, I was hyper aware of Dr. Mogel's speaking skills and would have liked to have seen her come out from behind the lectern. But her style, her stories, the way she connected with the audience, her use of vocal variety, her warmth and vulnerability all made up for that one shortcoming. Her passion filled the entire auditorium. Dr. Wendy Mogel is well on her way to becoming a master communicator and I look forward to hearing what she says next time.

Laurie Reid manages the written word at Ty Boyd Executive Communications & Coaching producing Words Well Spoken, Ty Boyd's newsletter as well as electronic communications to our clients. Since graduating from the Excellence in Speaking class in April of 2011, Laurie has not stopped opening her tool box.